At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, I wish we could banish the distasteful term “friends with benefits” from our vocabulary. Does anyone with a functioning brain cell really believe such a concept (in which two friends agree to casual, commitment-free sex with no expectations of a romantic relationship) really exists?
Since I work on a college campus, I hear girls toss this term around as though it is a sign of hip sophistication. It isn’t. If two people are claiming to be “friends with benefits,” I guarantee you that one of them, almost always the girl, is settling because that is all she thinks she can get. I simply don’t believe young women have sexual urges so strong they are happy to turn off all emotional inclinations in exchange for a quickie. If you meet a girl who swears it is true, I’ll show you someone who is fooling herself.
It was only a matter of time until this concept started creeping in to taint romantic comedies. Now there is a major motion picture with Justin Timberlake that features this premise. There has been a real erosion of respect for the beauty of physical intimacy, and with the growing popularity of terms like friends with benefits, I see this bizarre concept becoming more and more mainstream. The whole “hook-up” culture is setting expectations so high and creating such pressure for young women who don’t want to participate in it.
Getting off my soapbox now. Still, I can’t wait for this fad to be over.
Comments 3
I so agree with you.
I heard an interesting secular statistic last week. People are being surprised that the children of the generation that started the sexual revolution and easy divorce are staying married for life.
You’ve taught me something today. I had never heard of the term “friends with benefits” until I read your post.
Woman in our current culture sell themselves too cheaply. I view it as a lack of self respect. I think that fits in with your notion of settling for what they can get, rather than what they’re worth.
Author
Thanks for your comments, Pegg and Lena. The more I think about it, I’ve decided that what bothers me about the term “Friends with Benefits” is that it mainstreams a very unusual concept. I really do not believe it is as common as Hollywood would like us to believe, and yet impressionable girls get the idea that this is a mainstream way of life. It lowers the bar on what kind of standards they are likely to set for themselves.